Archive for February, 2010

NY Crime Bill Garners Bipartisan Support

NY To “Lead the Way” in Job Creation says Governor

Larry King asks Governor Patterson what law he's thinking of breaking as part of "Jumpsuits for Jobs"

New York’s Governor Patterson was joined by Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver (D – New York), former NY State Senator Hiram Monseratte (D – Queens), and former State Senator Joe Bruno (R – Troy) to announce the state’s latest effort to stem the tide of job loss in NY.  The 2010 crime bill, dubbed “Jumpsuits for Jobs,” is expected to create 100,000 jobs, said Governor Patterson. The bill was announced in response to an outcry over the shuttering of prisons around the state to help close the 8 billion dollar budget gap. “We have heard the people and understand that closing prisons is not an acceptable solution to our financial crisis.  We propose a  bipartisan program to encourage more crime. Only through an increase in impropriety can we justify keeping open these facilities.” Speaker Silver added, “The people of NY are depending on us to find solutions to the present crisis. With this bill we have found a bipartisan way to get people back to work while making New Yorkers safer. By encouraging those predisposed to break the law to go ahead and do it, we can remove these people from our midst while at the same time providing much needed work for police, corrections officers and reality TV producers.”

Senator Silver demonstrates to a young New Yorker a technique to get himself incarcerated. "We've all got to do our part," the Senator told the potential inmate.

The bill before the state includes a variety of tax breaks, direct incentives and money for job training to increase the number of highly skilled criminals, and those that apprehend and guard them, that will be needed in the emerging insecurity economy. Unions representing employees and clients of the Department of Corrections are hailing the measure as a win-win. “We need these jobs, especially in our hard hit rural areas,” declared Hector Diaz de Diaz, president of local 3413 of the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Prisoners and Prison Workers. “The economically depressed sections of our great state stand ready and willing to provide and house as many criminals as the state is able to encourage.”

A task force of rural areas facing prison closures echoed Mr. Diaz de Diaz. “We’re not looking for a handout here,” said Harlan Pifel, head of The Coalition of Rural Prison People. “We just want to do out part to help the state recover from this terrible recession. The bad guys need to be put somewhere. We’ve got a lot of somewhere to put them. It’s just sitting here. doing nothing. Besides, some fresh air might be just the thing for the urban based lawbreakers. Everybody needs a break from time to time. When ever I need some time off, to get away from things, I head up to my camp  in the Adirondacks for a little relaxation. Maybe a little fishing, a little boating. Keeps me from doing anything that would get my own ass thrown in jail.”

A rally at the New York State capital in Albany to support the jobs creation effort drew some 23,000 protesters. “Send us your corrupt, your felonious, your malfeasant longing to be captive,” intoned speaker Jen Gollbut, of People for the Incarceration of Other People, to thunderous applause. “Let us enable our brothers and sisters more inclined to take the well beaten path of moral turpitude. Their misdirection can now be their redemption. Their failure shall be their contribution. Let us raise them up and make them true guiding lights in this state’s recovery.” Protesters were encouraged to double park as a show of support for the bill.

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