Archive for January, 2010

Apple Releases I?

Expected to Please Everyone

The I? - Anything you want it to be

This is it folks. The latest. The greatest. The by all, end all issuance from Apple.¬† This “once in an epic” cosmic event has put physicists on the lookout for any signs life on this planet,¬† as we know it, might end. “Wouldn’t that suck?” commented Dr. Octavia Bilzewu of Los Alamos Laboratories.

Not since the Manhattan project has there been this much excitement. Outsiders not wishing to be named, after overhearing insiders¬† somewhat familiar with their own spouses names, are spreading the anonymous rumor the device is nicknamed I?. “Like all Apple products it’s ready right out of the box,” said Inspector 357. I can’t tell you what it is because I haven’t actually seen the item. But I can tell you the quality is all we have come to expect from Apple.”

Industry watchers say Apple is pinning all its hopes for future profits on the new device. “It’s getting harder and harder for Apple to keep up its margins, what with all the competition flooding the market,” blogged Samantha Staze of Virtual Profits. “If Apple can pull this off, there may not be anywhere else to go. If you can convince folks to buy an empty box, all that’s left is to convince them to send you money without actually receiving anything, not even a box, in return. We asked the CFO about this on a recent conference call but he just cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject.”

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