Archive for December, 2009
Representatives enjoy sites, Viking memorabilia
Representatives from the northern most reaches of New York are in Copenhagen this week to advocate for action on Global Warming. “It’s about time somebody did something about it,” said delegate Sheila LaGraff. “As you can imagine, we in the North Country are very concerned about this issue. We feel like we are here, not only for ourselves, but for all the people who live in extremely cold places. After all, we’ve all been freezing our butts off for years. We’re really excited about the prospect of an international agreement to make the planet more comfortable.”
Being a rural area in the US far from the seat of power , residents of the North Country feel akin to many living in the far flung reaches of the Republic. “We don’t really feel like we have a voice,” explained Bruce Depster. “Folks in Washington just don’t seem to give a damn what we have to say. They’re too damn busy getting themselves free checking from the banks to take the time to hear what the average American guy on a tractor is thinking. Old fashion country common sense just doesn’t seem to carry any weight anymore. So we’ve come all this way in hopes that we may finally be heard.”
The delegates were welcomed to the Danish Hinterlands with a warm message of global cooperation. “Hello and good day to our friends from the countryside of the USA,” said Conference assistant spokesman and descendant of Vikings, Jorn Vloeongner (as translated by Brunel Lierdofl). “Your country’s participation in this historic conference is vital to its success. We have no hope of preventing further warming, and stopping a global catastrophe, without the full participation of your great country.” Representative Wayne “Redbull” Burndep responded. “Stopping the warming? You must be shitting me. Why in hell would we want to do that?