Archive for August, 2009

Infertility, Homosexuality – Linked

Gay Couples Left Childless by Unknown Cause

A recent study by the National Institute of Health found that homosexual couples have a rate of infertility significantly higher than the national average. Researchers say the underlying mechanism for this phenomenon is, as yet, unknown. Follow up studies are expected to reveal what, if anything, is behind this surprising trend.

Homosexual couples have long complained of having difficulty procreating. Until recently their pleas have been ignored by mainstream health experts. The advent of gay marriage has recently turned attention to the issue. “It’s about time somebody sat up and listened to us,” said gay activist Tosh Fallow. “It’s not like we haven’t been trying to have kids. There have been days when I can barely walk from trying. I always thought it was me – that I was just not working at it enough. Now I know there may be an underlying medical reason beyond my control.”

Gay couples not able to have children often turn to fertility clinics out of frustration. This rarely meets with success as one of the partners usually lacks the necessary accoutrements to conceive. “Usually a third party is required,” reports Dr. Menlo Grip of Baby Smiles Fertility Clinic in Renwool, Oregon. “It can be very expensive for a male couple particularly. Regularly a female must  be employed to carry the couple’s child. It’s not ideal but its the best we can do with the technology available.”

The adoption option is also becoming more common with childless gays. This can be difficult however as many states have passed laws making adoption by gays illegal. “We’d rather let the kids rot in foster care than go live with a couple of pervs,” explained Florida Congressman Wayne Snorzby. “This is a moral issue.” In states where gay adoption is allowed gay and heterosexual couples are often seen fighting over the few children still available. “It’s a seller’s market,” beamed Gloria Parl of New York City’s Child Protective Services. “A couple of times we’ve had to call security to break up brawls between competing hopeful parents. We’re looking for a source of more kids to fill the need but with the red tape and the expense we keep hitting brick walls.”

One positive finding of the study is the exceptionally low rate of gay teen pregnancy. “That kind of surprised us,” said Dr. Ishmael Ruber of the National Institute of Health. “Why gay teenagers should be less likely to get pregnant is really a puzzle. Maybe gay teens are less sexually active. It is possible that gay marriage is having the positive effect of encouraging gay teens to wait until they are in a secure long term relationship before doing the deed.” A number of teen anti pregnancy programs are considering encouraging more teens to consider homosexuality.According to Joan Guiller,  guidance counselor at Morlville High, “If they get pregnant chances are they won’t fininsh school.  That leads to a whole host of social problems. If being gay keeps them in school I say lets print up some informational brochures just as fast as we can.”

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